and a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush

I remember getting really frustrated in geometry class because somewhere along math, I realized that i'm terrible at structure and regimentation and (ulp!) following directions. Both because i'm inherently indignant at all things even slightly authoritarian (like math) and also because I couldn't see it all at once and then tear it down to tiny bits. The reverse process spells tedium for "this author". What happened in geometry was that i ended up asking "Stupid questions" like, " how big is the line, how wide?" These questions were met with resistance by my teacher. I think visually and spatially like most artists and I needed a point of reference to know where I was. Thus began a long and mutually hostile relationship with numbers.
I have been listening to The Ruby Suns. I recommend you find these people and partake.

Did alot of drawing over the summer. Getting back to mah roots. It's a good way to think. Lance Winn was right all along, dammit, ( i had hoped he wouldn't be). I thought about how, as a kid, I tried to envision time passing as sheets that fell upon one another like leaves and that would create some sort of tunnel that I some how slipped through, leaving former selves in all individual cosmic instances that were frozen forever. After all, what can be done about the past?


I think I started believing that the present doesn't exist really since there is no way that I know of to qualify it. Once you do, there it goes. What you have is what has happened and inevitability.
Whenever you go, then you are.
Don't even ask me what that means. I haven't the foggiest. I'm building my lighthouse.
(Please indulge my effete - ness)
I think there is something about regret that is especially important to this way of experiencing time because no other emotion that I can think of pulls you into the past that way.
http://www.memoryzine.com/introductiontobrain.html

Of course i'm certain that memory is just a chemical compound and, the present is just it's constituents. If Iwant their vote, they'd better treat me well.

I'm gonna go back to scanner portraits. I'm so taken by how the scanner takes a still image of time. the top part of the image being older than the bottom. It really sums up how I'm experience time and the like. I can't shake the sensation that I am somehow physically and inextricably linked to the past. My body brains and organs smeared over the 32 years of my life, my experience besides.

I am a rubber band but instead of getting thinner as I stretch, I get older. I'm gonna make a phone to talk to my former selves. 2 coffee cans and some string. I'll make a washtub bass and play a lullaby to this little tyke:

I want to blow bubbles and freeze them before they pop and keep them in my freezer. When, in the future, the technology has advanced enough to revive them, they will be thawed and freed to live out the rest of their days in good health and harmony with the rest of bubble-kind. Also I want to work with mylar and transparency paper. I want to make 3-d 2-d drawings.

This process i'm working on with using my camera to create video is pretty exciting. More sheets that stack and become more than the sum of its parts.

here are some of the drawings i did:
"I wish I hadn't but i'm glad I did"



"I wish I did but i'm glad I hadn't"
And here is a smattering of the scanner portraits. Most of you have seen them I think but...


The Inertia of Abby!!!!





















A Moment of Lance!!!





















The Juncture of Jason!!!!!